One Moment

I know I'm a day late, but Thursdays are the worst around here. We have to take Story to ballet, and go grocery shopping. Then I have to be at work early to open and then close the bar. It's non stop from the moment we wake up. 

Day nine of blog every day in May is capturing a moment in the day. Like I mentioned above, yesterday was super busy.

This is what I wore for running errands all morning. Jordan stayed home to finish repairing a phone. Story has ballet class on Thursdays. She only has two regular classes left and then it's time for the recital. It feels like this entire season has just flown by! Her class is about 45 minutes long. After class let out we had to swing by the house to grab a flash drive that had her birthday invitations on it. We live close to a busy intersection near an interstate so sometimes the traffic is bad. You know, around 5 or so. Of course, today, they decided to do massive road construction and not only that intersection but the really big one next to it. The traffic was stupid bad, with people stopped all the way back to the interstate. We braved the traffic, making our way to staples. We get in and the lady informs me that their printers are down....... The entire trip to that side of town, wasted. We get back in the car, through the traffic, to finally make it to the post office. Of course it's busy. I mean, it's the post office. After all of that we make it home. Just in time for me to get ready and go to work. On Thursdays I bartend which means I'm there from open to close.

shirt- thrifted. jeans, shoes- Target

So yeah, this would have been the calm before the all day storm. (and it really did rain).

 

Day nine

The Thing(s) I'm Most Afraid Of...

Today is day seven of blog every day in May. This prompt had me a little scared. Ha. I've been thinking about it all day, and I'm afraid of where my mind had gone. But in the sake of open and raw honesty, here we go.

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I'm afraid of all the normal things. You know, like heights, cockroaches (omg, don't even get me started.....) accidents, natural disasters. All of the things we've been taught to fear. Most of them rightly so. 

via 

I'm afraid of wasting my entire life, and never meeting the goals I set for myself. The older I get the more I realized the goals I set as a child and teen were out of reach. After having Story, getting married, and working full time, my goals changed. They're not much, but they are there. And I'm so afraid that I will not get there. That all of our hard work will amount to nothing. Irrational? Yes. Still there? Yes

This one is new, but I'm very afraid of never having another child. I look back through the photos of Story as an infant and I am filled with such gratitude that I was able to experience something so wonderful. It also fills me with such longing and despair that I can barely breathe. I don't want that to be the only time. I want Jordan to go through it with me. I don't want to deny him this experience.

 

 I'm afraid of losing my happiness. I feel like it's slipping away even though I am desperately trying to keep a hold of it. I'm afraid of how negative all of my posts sound. Because even though I feel everything I do, I'm not sad all the time. I feel like I'm losing my grip and I'm terrified of how that will impact the rest of my family.

 

Day Seven 

What I Do

What do I do? A little of everything and a lot of nothing of importance.

 

I'm not a stay at home mom though. I do have a full time job. I mean, I'm a full time server, so not really a full time, 40 hours a week, job. But still. I run around like crazy for 6 hours straight with no break. That happens after I've cleaned the house and taken care of the kid. 

  

I'm not just a server though. I'm also a bartender. Just as recently as last week I started "keying" which means I get to be a manager of sorts. It's a lot of fun. I get to start M.I.T. training this summer. I look forward to moving my career forward. In the meantime, the next step is getting back in the kitchen!

I also do a little bit of stuff around the house. What that means is I start a lot of projects but only finish a few.

  

This is one of my favorites. I spent an entire weekend completely redoing Story's room. Then all I had to do was hang one more curtain rod. Turns out I hung the hooks too far away. So it's sat like this for almost a month now. 

Same in here. We got really excited about redoing the bedroom and then the nook. But you know how that goes. We painted the wall and I even attempted to stain the dresser. (didn't work out at all) And then we just stopped. 

So, like a said: I do a bit of everything, and a lot of nothing of importance. 

 

Day Six