Thursday, May 31, 2012

Untitled

I've been a really bad blogger lately. This week I have an excuse though. My dad came to visit! He came on Sunday and stayed until Thursday. It was so great getting to see him. Before we moved we lived in the next town over from him and was able to visit once a week. We haven't been in the area long so we didn't really have a whole lot to show him. Jordan had to work everyday so Story and I had a lot of one on one time with him. We went to Goodwill and Target. He was nice enough to give us a new dining room table with 4 matching chairs. We had purchased one a few days before and only found one chair. So the matching set is really great. He also got me a 3 step ladder! I can reach the ceiling. Can't wait to hang up curtains. We spent the last night at Jordan's parents house. It was nice getting to spend time with family. We're sad to see him go but we're happy to be getting back to the little bit f normal we've started here.

I've been a bad blogger lately, and I don't have a good excuse for it. We just moved in to a new house and I thought I would be so excited to get it set up and start on a billion projects. And to top it off I would be staying at home so I'd have plenty of time to get it all done. Though I am still really excited to be in a new place, I have no motivation to get anything done. I don't want to work on the house, I don't want to clean up, I don't want to get dressed and take pictures, I don't even want to play with Story. All I want to do is sleep. Looking at blogs (which I used to love to do) is too exhausting. I don't know whats wrong with me. I feel like we made a huge mistake in our move. I'm so scared that we won't be able to make it. All of the planning we put into it, and it seems like we have no idea what we're doing. I feel like I'm drowning and the surface is too far for me to make it. I'm in tears writing this. And for me, that's a big deal.

I know I need to pick myself up and make the most out of a bad situation. I know I need to apply for jobs. I know I need to save up to put Story in daycare. I know I need to finish the projects I've started.

And since starting this post last week, I have made some progress. The pool opened and Story and I have been visiting it daily. It feels good to be outside, even if I am burnt. Story loves to swim too. It's a good way for her to get to meet new kids as well. I also finished doing the laundry. I know that doesn't sound like much but let me give you a little back story. - We live in a 3 story apartment building. It is one of several buildings all laid out the same way. Each floor in every building has a set of washer and dryer. That way only 8 apartments share a machine. It was great. The machines were hardly in use. The only bad thing was there was no quarter machines. So we had to scrounge up quarters. Anyway, someone has been breaking into the coin machines on top of the washer and dryer. Ugh! So now I have to wait until Jordan gets home to walk me down to the one washer and dryer that works for the entire building. Anyway, it's just made getting the laundry done that much harder.- I've been hanging up curtains and straightening up everything. The in laws came for a visit on Memorial day and it gave me a huge reason to get my butt in gear. They hadn't seen the apartment since the first week we had moved in. It's really starting to look like a home now.

When I started this post over a week ago I wasn't feeling like myself. We all have these moments and I'm trying to not let it overtake my life. I think I need some help, and I'm not afraid to ask for it. Just because I feel better this week, doesn't mean it's all okay. How can I take care of everyone else if I can't take care of myself. I know that I need to come first. And I'm going to do something about it.

Thanks for listening.

4 comments:

  1. Ok....sweet, sweet, daughter of mine....lets take a deep breath and 1st ask, why haven"r u called me? the heck with my stupid problems..they will be there and give me nothing in return. You on the other hand mean so much to me and I will not allow you to be in this state for too much longer without a major "parent" discussion. Did u know that I one time moved across country...6 months later got back to where I came from and everything felt right again? It happens...money...ya well...it's spent...but a move back to where u feek most yourself....WE GOT IT. So do what u can to settle in...if it doesn:t settle by the end of june, it is probably not going to and we all grow wings and set our course for NC, Doesn"t seem that big a deal to me. We will move u. just let me know..I will find u a home. See you just left the nest....but we ARE the nest builders....never alone. xo NINa

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    Replies
    1. Thanks :) I just had a down couple of days and I thought I found talk about it somewhere. Things have gotten so much better since I wrote it all down. It gave me a bit of an escape. I agree, if things are not better by the end of the month, we might not have the resources to ride it out. But it has gotten better. We are floating, not sinking. It means a lot to me to hear you say all of that :) We are okay though. And I think we'll make it through the hard times.

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  2. But...let me also say....that I know you are one of the strongest, creative, courageous young woman I have ever known and loved and you will get over this hump...one way or the other. Stay or Leave. The Beauty in it is the decision is yours.....think of it as a blank canvas,,,and maybe ur suffering from a little artist'hesitation. It's ok. Deep Breathes can save the World. Be Patient, give it time, and then look at it together. There's no time limit. But there are ALWAYS options. Just ask Dad and Mom...we have a few. But most important...relax and watch life around u... Story grow....Love u...Nina

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  3. Sorry you are having a rough time. Your place looks nice so far. Story Sunshine is growing up turning 4? I miss her and you. Hang in there. Love ya.

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Hello All! I'm Faith- and welcome to Pike's Place. Here you will find an assortment of DIY, house related posts, a little bit of fashion, and family. Take your time and have a look around!
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